if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
