Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
