somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
