with your own penis?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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