sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
