i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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