i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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