like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
