How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
