I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
