and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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