Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
there is glitter all over my balls
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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