I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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