if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
