break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
