I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
