Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize