I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
