He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
