Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
