In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
