every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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