Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
