I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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