Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
