Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
