Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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