Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i think i scared a bird with my dick
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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