You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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