Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize