well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
