At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we're making bets on your personal life
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
