Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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