I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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