I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
