you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
