How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
