you win again, gameday.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
