my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
