you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
