One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Someone came in the potted fern
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