Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
