There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize