Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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