Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
