My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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