you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize