I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
