he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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