never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
