Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
