What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
