Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
