I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize