I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
