i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize