i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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